Visiting Hours

Set

Ah shit.

I think I died.

Last thing I remember was I was in the back of Nut’s whip. Nigga was trying to get me to list my favorite candy. But the pain from my shoulder and stomach was killing me.

No pun intended.

A nigga was just so tired… 

I been shot before, but never like that. Shit, I’ve been shot and hopped right up, bodying the nigga who was tryna body me.

I guess twenty-eight means I’m not hopping back up.

Man, damn. My pops died at twenty-eight. I should have went with my first mind and just bubble wrapped myself and stayed in the crib until twenty-nine.

Now look. I’m here, standing in the void, in all white.

Wait… am I in heaven?

“Nah, yo ass not in heaven.”

I look around, but I don’t see anyone. “Fuck, I’m in hell?”

Another distorted voice chuckles and echoes, gaining clarity by the second. 

“Nah, you ain’t there either, Lil’ One,” the first voice says.

My heart stops–again, I guess.

Only one muthafucka in the world called me that in my life.

When I turn back around, there he is.

Looking the exact same as he did the last time I saw him. 

Brown skin. Cesar cut with the waves. Tall, like me, but more built. Dimples showing hard as he smiles at me.

But this nigga is in an all-white Nike tech. Do they even make those?

“Nah. This special edition,” he smirks, picking off imaginary lint.

“Am I speaking out loud or some shit?”

“Nah, you just real expressive in your face, Lil’ One. Plus, you just like me, so you kinda predictable.”

I rub the top of my head, looking around the white void, before focusing on my Pops in front of me. “If I’m not in heaven or hell, where am I? Why you here?”

“This like a meeting place, and I’m here for you. You been making big plays down there; you, Nut, Turk, and even Shad. I’m proud of yo knucklehead ass.”

My chest expands hearing those words, and I know the smile spreading on my face mirrors his, until it drops.

“Yeah,” I sigh, “but I’m dead now.”

He digs his hands in his pockets. “You wanna go back?”

“I mean… yeah. You just said I been doing big things. Shit, I just married my shorty like two days ago. She having twins and shit. B needs me…”

Fuck. Brina’s gonna go crazy when she finds out. She lost our first seed just from seeing her daddy shot. I don’t know what’s gonna happen now. She barely in her second semester.

“Sabrina Young,” he muses. “Part of me wanted to bring you and Nut with me to Northupton, but Cass wasn’t having that shit. Who knows? Coulda met her sooner.”

A whoosh sounds off around us before a nasally voice I never thought I’d hear again makes a shiver run down my back.

“You love acting like I ever say no to you.”

I lift my head and the breath is knocked out of me. Cassandra Lott, in the flesh.

She looks young as hell, too. Sandy brown hair in big ass box braids. Wearing a white dress that hangs off her shoulders, showing my name etched on her collarbone, on top of her heart.

She glares at my Pops before shifting her gaze to me, and the light that blooms on her face makes the void that much brighter.

When she starts walking toward me, I break into a sprint and snatch her up in my arms. She giggles when I twirl her ass around, and I don’t even give a fuck that tears are sliding into her hair.

“Casey! Put me down,” she laughs.

But I can’t. I never wanna let her go again.

I lean down so her feet are on solid ground, but I don’t let go of her. She looks so healthy, healthier than I’ve ever seen her. She’s got meat on her bones, and smells like her favorite freesia perfume.

“I missed you, Mama,” I choke out. She squeezes me harder, rubbing my back, letting me get it all out.

But I don’t know if I could ever stop.

“Oh Casey, I missed you too.”

Another hand taps my shoulder and when I lift up I’m engulfed in another hug.

My moms and pops.

I feel like I’m eight again.

Damn.

“Okay, okay,” my mama scolds lightly. “We don’t have much time. You gotta get back to my grandbabies and that cute girl that got yo nose wide open.”

We all laugh, and I take a step back, wiping my face.

“My bad–”

“Nah, don’t apologize,” Pops says, and when I look up, he’s wiping his eyes, too. “As much as I never wanted to see you before you old and gray, I’m glad I’m seeing you now. You don’t know how much we miss you, Casey.”

“We love you, Case. And we are proud of you, baby. But hear me good.” She bunches up my shirt so that I lean down in her face. “You need to get your shit together so you can live a long, full life. Get out this game, raise your kids, love on that girl, and meet us back here in eighty years.”

She lets go of me and my pops rests his hand on her shoulder. She smiles, wrapping her hand around his. 

“Yeah, Lil’ One. It’s time to bow out gracefully. And tie up any loose ends. Your family needs you. And not just your kids, man. You the glue, like you’ve always been, and some of yo people drowning.”

My mama nods, pouting. “We made such a handsome baby, huh Boogie?”

“Boogie?” I bark out.

But my pops doesn’t blush, or even shy away from it. He grins hard as fuck, wrapping his arm around my mama’s neck and kissing the top of her head. “She the one who gave me that nickname. On the back of the schoolbus on the way back to the Birch. That’s when I knew she was feeling me.”

My mama grins and nods, wrapping an arm around his waist. 

“I’m glad Ghost gave you those letters, Casey. So you can see yo daddy was on me from jump.”

These two… I’m already knowing in another life they’d be running me low.

My mama leaves my Pops’s arms to hug me one more time. “Be good, Case,” she whispers.

“I’ll try, Mama.”

She nods against me and takes a step back so my Pops can hug me too. “You my wildest dreams, Lil’ One. Tell Nut and Turk I said wassup. And keep an eye on Shad.” 

I furrow my brows and tuck that away for later.

He steps back, interlacing his fingers with my mama, before the wind whooshes again, making me close my eyes.

But when I open them, someone else is in front of me.

She’s the healthiest I’ve ever seen her, too, her hair in a single braid that rests on her shoulder, and has on a white dress, too.

She grins at me, and envelopes me in a hug.

“I love you and I miss you, Casey… you’re just as much my baby as Peanut.”

I hug her back just as hard. Aunt Carrie man… she kept me sane that first month after my mama passed. Her weekend visits kept me going. 

She never looked at me differently after they told her what I did. The epitome of unconditional love, off the strength that I was her family, and it’s always family over everything.

“I almost don’t wanna leave,” I whisper to her, resting my cheek on the top of her head.

I feel her smile on my chest. “But you have to,” she sniffles. “Sissy, Boogie and I love you, but they need you. Don’t worry about us. Besides, you come to see us all the time.”

She leans back, and I see the tears pooling in her eyes as she grins. I literally feel the love radiating off her. 

“I’m sorry–”

“Nah,” I shake my head, letting more tears fall. “We’ll get it right in the next life.”

Aunt Carrie sniffles and nods. “Tell my Peanut I love him, and I miss him,” she whispers.

Another wind whooshes, but this one is different, more violent. My whole body shudders, and my shoulder and gut feel like they’re burning. My throat closes immediately, and I start choking and coughing.

Ah, shit. I’m finna die again.

“Open your eyes, fool,” I hear my auntie snicker.

It feels like my eyelids are glued together. After a couple tries, I get them open, and harsh fluorescent lights make me want to close them again.

A doctor comes into view, and then something moves in my throat.

“You should be able to breathe now,” he says, as he takes the tubes out.

The next time I open my eyes, Brina appears on my side, thrusting a cup with a straw in my face. I take it in my mouth, feeling the cool water soothe my sore ass throat.

Tears are continuously streaming down her cheeks. I hate that shit. She not meant to cry.

I shift my eyes down and my body relaxes some, seeing her bump still there. Her hand goes to it, cradling our babies.

“Casey,” she breathes, sliding her hand in mine.

I squeeze it as hard as I can, so she knows I’m here.

And I’m always gone come back to her.